She’s going through a phase.
As a mom and stepmom of three tweens, I have been thinking a lot about this phase. But you might be surprised to learn that I haven’t been applying it to them, instead I’m the one who has been going through quite a phase these days.
Read MoreHave you ever heard yourself say “Why do I have to do everything?” Instead of perpetuating a never-ending cycle of housework, frustration and regret, consider asking instead, "What could I do if I stopped trying to do everything?"
Read MoreWe were all looking forward to my stepdaughter's birthday celebration. Isn't that the way it goes with kids? They plan and we plan, and we all get excited to celebrate that they're another year older. But then the plans changed. Read how we salvaged the day amidst changing circumstances.
Read MoreAfter about 24 hours of fever, chills and debilitating aches, I was plagued with the guilt that the kids were all watching too much TV and eating too much pasta. In addition to feeling miserable, I also got bossy, crabby and ridiculous. I didn't know how to take a sick day.
Read MoreIn our blended family, we have three kids running from activity to activity. As I look at our family’s calendar, I find myself asking, “When are we going to see each other?” This article shares four ways our family is staying connected amidst a busy schedule.
Read More"The only constant in life is change." I find this quote by Greek philosopher Heraclitus to be both unnerving and grounding. For a blended family with growing kids, change seems to be ever present.
Our family schedule alters daily and weekly to fit parenting plans, weekend exchanges and our kids' activities. There is truly no day that is the same, and most days do not go as planned. Since this has been our family dynamic for several years now, our kids have become remarkably adaptable and resilient to changes as they come, and for that I'm grateful.
But change is still hard. Even if it's positive.
I don't claim to have the playbook on adapting to change, but we've been intentional about supporting our kids in a few specific ways.
Read MoreDo you and your partner ever have an argument that's really not about the thing you were arguing about? If you say no, then I wish you a hearty congratulations for somehow mastering exemplary communication, and you can stop reading now.
But if you're like most people who find themselves in a partnership, then you've probably argued and likely argued about something small that was rooted in how you were feeling about something bigger. Or perhaps you're like me, and all the small stuff matters a lot, but you don't even know why.
This post explores how to reset your family values, so you can focus less on the “small stuff”.
Read MoreFor me, it is completely unimportant what political party my child will choose to vote with when he turns 18, but it is important that he knows how to learn the facts, how to listen to others respectfully and ultimately discern for himself which philosophy he aligns with. In our house, we intentionally do a few things we hope will help shape engaged citizens.
Read MoreAfter four months of a global pandemic, our family has a new daily rhythm down. We like it, but it will absolutely not work when school starts this fall.
Read MoreAs a white woman of privilege, I have found myself struggling for the right words to say about the racism, protests, and riots happening in our country. I’ve also struggled with how to talk to our kids. As I explored my own feelings and sought to learn more, I turned to my friend and colleague Dr. Lawrence Chatters.
Lawrence agreed to be interviewed for a piece I wrote for Momaha.com.
Here is a short excerpt from that piece:
"Learn more about the issue. As a parent, we pride ourselves with being able to provide our kids with information," Chatters said. "However, as parents, we too need to learn about what’s going on in our world."
He said parents should do their research, look at a number of different resources, and learn about the issues. "Learn the names, learn what has happened and why," he said. "Learn about and understand your own privilege."
Chatters recommended some resources, including "Raising White Kids" by Jennifer Harvey, "So You Want to Talk About Race" by Ijeoma Oluo and “White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin Diangelo.
I have personally struggled with what to say and Chatters said it's not necessarily a parent's duty to "have the right thing to say right now."
"That's 100% OK. But it is your duty to try to be as empathetic as possible in this moment, and make yourself available to listen to other people in this moment," he said. "Friends that you have that are people of color, and other friends that are struggling with what to say... be willing to sit with that struggle together."
Read MoreIt seems a day doesn't go by when we don't hear protests of "Why did they get to do that?," "That's not fair! I had to wait until I was 8 to do that!" or the dreaded "What did you guys do without me?" question that comes after a child has been with the other parent.
My husband and I find ourselves in a delicate balance of creating equitable experiences, while also helping each of our kids understand that, unfortunately, we won't always be able to make decisions that are perfectly fair or share all experiences equally across kids in the family. Blended or not, this just happens in families.
To read how we’re managing the feeling of “not fair”, read more at Momaha.com.
Read MoreClick for my “top 10” favorite at-home, quarantine-fun, Amazon.com finds!
Read MoreThis is the kind of woman that you dress up for. A woman that you carefully craft an outfit that includes a new blouse and favorite shoes, because you know she will look impeccable. I kicked myself for not having time to pack the new purse I bought for just such an occasion. Although hers is a Louis Vuitton and mine is Target, so I'm clearly not going for impressive, maybe just not overflowing with handiwipes and Costco receipts.
Read MoreYour house will soon be filled with the constant sounds of "mom, mom, MOM!" yelled from across the house for no apparent reason. You will be in the middle of any phone call or conversation with another adult, and someone will pull on you to ask to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! Your shower will no longer be a sacred place, but will be an open house for anyone in the family to walk in asking why there is no orange juice in the refrigerator. You'll have a day where you feel like Wonder Woman, because after a decade, you've finally gotten this mom thing down, but within an hour everyone in your house will be melting down. Including you and the dog.
Believe me, you need a place where you can shut the door.
Read MoreToday my sweet friend reached out with a note that said something like, “Please consider writing about how you balance your career and family life. You always seem to have it all together.”
I couldn’t believe what I was reading. This is a mom who I want to be more like. She is truly among the best examples of motherhood I’ve been blessed to witness. But on this point, she’s wrong. And hilarious.
I do not have it all together. My life is never in balance.
Read MoreI waited in line patiently after the five-year old in front of me, looked to the life guard for a nod of "okay", and zip, splash, into the water I went. Down the water slide.
Yes, I was "that" mom, the weird, goofy one who got into the pool with her kids. The mom who did handstands in the deep-end, raced her kids across the pool, threw rings to be found at the bottom, and actually went down the water slide. I was in fact, one of only three moms that got in the pool today. And honestly, I don't totally understand it.
Read MoreBrats and burgers on the barbecue. Cooler filled with cold adult beverages and juice boxes. Laughter and the happy screams of kids playing fill the air. This familiar scene is matched with unfamiliar and new faces around the fire pit. New friends we're making together.
Read MoreAcross social media there are countless posts of children in tulle, bedazzled leotards, sparkled headbands, and giant bows. Moms and dads post photos as though their children have just opened on Broadway. These proud parents beam with excitement for their little people. And I love this.
But for this stepmom, this ritual of dance recital weekend feels like another reminder that I am not a actually their parent.
Read MorePlease help me to be a good mother-in-law someday. I have been blessed with two good mother-in-laws in my life, and I am so grateful.
Read MoreSo, like all newlyweds, last night as we were laying in bed my husband and I had a full in-depth conversation about the kids' outerwear and where exactly all their sweatshirts, sweaters, and jackets go. I joked during winter that I had a recurring order with Amazon to send weekly supplies of snow pants, boots and gloves. I think I may have to do the same with sweatshirts.
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