After about 24 hours of fever, chills and debilitating aches, I was plagued with the guilt that the kids were all watching too much TV and eating too much pasta. In addition to feeling miserable, I also got bossy, crabby and ridiculous. I didn't know how to take a sick day.
Read MoreIn our blended family, we have three kids running from activity to activity. As I look at our family’s calendar, I find myself asking, “When are we going to see each other?” This article shares four ways our family is staying connected amidst a busy schedule.
Read More"The only constant in life is change." I find this quote by Greek philosopher Heraclitus to be both unnerving and grounding. For a blended family with growing kids, change seems to be ever present.
Our family schedule alters daily and weekly to fit parenting plans, weekend exchanges and our kids' activities. There is truly no day that is the same, and most days do not go as planned. Since this has been our family dynamic for several years now, our kids have become remarkably adaptable and resilient to changes as they come, and for that I'm grateful.
But change is still hard. Even if it's positive.
I don't claim to have the playbook on adapting to change, but we've been intentional about supporting our kids in a few specific ways.
Read MoreAs a white woman of privilege, I have found myself struggling for the right words to say about the racism, protests, and riots happening in our country. I’ve also struggled with how to talk to our kids. As I explored my own feelings and sought to learn more, I turned to my friend and colleague Dr. Lawrence Chatters.
Lawrence agreed to be interviewed for a piece I wrote for Momaha.com.
Here is a short excerpt from that piece:
"Learn more about the issue. As a parent, we pride ourselves with being able to provide our kids with information," Chatters said. "However, as parents, we too need to learn about what’s going on in our world."
He said parents should do their research, look at a number of different resources, and learn about the issues. "Learn the names, learn what has happened and why," he said. "Learn about and understand your own privilege."
Chatters recommended some resources, including "Raising White Kids" by Jennifer Harvey, "So You Want to Talk About Race" by Ijeoma Oluo and “White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin Diangelo.
I have personally struggled with what to say and Chatters said it's not necessarily a parent's duty to "have the right thing to say right now."
"That's 100% OK. But it is your duty to try to be as empathetic as possible in this moment, and make yourself available to listen to other people in this moment," he said. "Friends that you have that are people of color, and other friends that are struggling with what to say... be willing to sit with that struggle together."
Read MoreIt seems a day doesn't go by when we don't hear protests of "Why did they get to do that?," "That's not fair! I had to wait until I was 8 to do that!" or the dreaded "What did you guys do without me?" question that comes after a child has been with the other parent.
My husband and I find ourselves in a delicate balance of creating equitable experiences, while also helping each of our kids understand that, unfortunately, we won't always be able to make decisions that are perfectly fair or share all experiences equally across kids in the family. Blended or not, this just happens in families.
To read how we’re managing the feeling of “not fair”, read more at Momaha.com.
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