For me, it is completely unimportant what political party my child will choose to vote with when he turns 18, but it is important that he knows how to learn the facts, how to listen to others respectfully and ultimately discern for himself which philosophy he aligns with. In our house, we intentionally do a few things we hope will help shape engaged citizens.
Read MoreAfter four months of a global pandemic, our family has a new daily rhythm down. We like it, but it will absolutely not work when school starts this fall.
Read MoreAs a white woman of privilege, I have found myself struggling for the right words to say about the racism, protests, and riots happening in our country. I’ve also struggled with how to talk to our kids. As I explored my own feelings and sought to learn more, I turned to my friend and colleague Dr. Lawrence Chatters.
Lawrence agreed to be interviewed for a piece I wrote for Momaha.com.
Here is a short excerpt from that piece:
"Learn more about the issue. As a parent, we pride ourselves with being able to provide our kids with information," Chatters said. "However, as parents, we too need to learn about what’s going on in our world."
He said parents should do their research, look at a number of different resources, and learn about the issues. "Learn the names, learn what has happened and why," he said. "Learn about and understand your own privilege."
Chatters recommended some resources, including "Raising White Kids" by Jennifer Harvey, "So You Want to Talk About Race" by Ijeoma Oluo and “White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin Diangelo.
I have personally struggled with what to say and Chatters said it's not necessarily a parent's duty to "have the right thing to say right now."
"That's 100% OK. But it is your duty to try to be as empathetic as possible in this moment, and make yourself available to listen to other people in this moment," he said. "Friends that you have that are people of color, and other friends that are struggling with what to say... be willing to sit with that struggle together."
Read MoreIt seems a day doesn't go by when we don't hear protests of "Why did they get to do that?," "That's not fair! I had to wait until I was 8 to do that!" or the dreaded "What did you guys do without me?" question that comes after a child has been with the other parent.
My husband and I find ourselves in a delicate balance of creating equitable experiences, while also helping each of our kids understand that, unfortunately, we won't always be able to make decisions that are perfectly fair or share all experiences equally across kids in the family. Blended or not, this just happens in families.
To read how we’re managing the feeling of “not fair”, read more at Momaha.com.
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