Shaping kids into engaged citizens

One fall afternoon in 2016, the typical after-school conversation with my kindergartener went from our regular chat about recess and snack break to politics. This unexpected shift came from a conversation that had been prompted in his classroom by an innocent education lesson on civics. The kids then started talking about the upcoming election and who their parents were going to vote for — and who they, as 6-year-olds, were going to “vote” for.

In this unexpected moment, I had a choice: brush this comment aside and respond with “That’s nice. How was lunch?” or take a deep breath and walk into a teachable moment. This new and uncharted dialog became the first of many enjoyable discussions about politics between my son and I, with a more important lesson underscoring every conversation. And that is we must respect other people’s point of view, especially if it is different from our own.

As we navigate these last few months of “election season” — whether schooling virtually at home or in the classroom — as parents we’re bound to get more questions about not only what we believe and who we think is best for president of the United States, but also why people don’t always agree. It’s my personal opinion that how we handle these discussions can have a great impact on how we shape the next generation of leaders and future voters in our country. Like with most things in parenting, how our kids see us respond and how we coach them through difficult topics will likely have an impact on how they see the world and respond as adults.

For me, it is completely unimportant what political party my child will choose to vote with when he turns 18, but it is important that he knows how to learn the facts, how to listen to others respectfully and ultimately discern for himself which philosophy he aligns with. In our house, we intentionally do a few things we hope will help shape engaged citizens.

1. Stop to listen. We don’t push an agenda or have roundtable topics about the politics of the day, but they come up. Perhaps my husband and I will be chatting about something on the news, or the kids have heard something in school and have questions. First, we stop and listen to what they think and believe they know. We then take the time — sometimes a lot of time — to help unpack the dialogue and do our best to present both viewpoints of the situation.

2. Look for the facts. When these conversations arise in our house, it’s fair to say that, even as adults, we may not have all the facts. Before proceeding, we try to model positive behavior by researching a few sources of information so we can continue the discussion with facts — not opinion — guiding us.

3. Be respectful. My husband and I both have strong beliefs about how we see the world, and we agree most of the time. In these conversations with our kids, we have chosen not to hide our feelings and perspectives, but also try to walk in another person’s shoe to help our kids understand why there may be different and strong feelings on both sides. We want them to learn how to debate and disagree respectfully, and never put someone down for having a different perspective from their own. We want them to see this as an opportunity to ask good questions, and learn about someone else’s experience.

On my son’s sixth birthday, he awoke to the buzz of “Election Day 2016.” Before hopping out the door with his birthday cupcakes, he offered words I have personally held on to for the last four years. “Mom, my friend and I want different people to become the president. But that’s OK, because we can all vote for who we want. It’s kind of like food. I don’t like the same food as my friend, but we can still be friends even though we don’t like the same thing.”

Sometimes the most true words can come from a child.

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