Even positive change can be a challenge. How we've helped our kids adapt to change.

"The only constant in life is change." I find this quote by Greek philosopher Heraclitus to be both unnerving and grounding. For a blended family with growing kids, change seems to be ever present.

Our family schedule alters daily and weekly to fit parenting plans, weekend exchanges and our kids' activities. There is truly no day that is the same, and most days do not go as planned. Since this has been our family dynamic for several years now, our kids have become remarkably adaptable and resilient to changes as they come, and for that I'm grateful.

But change is still hard. Even if it's positive.

This summer, our family has had some really positive changes. I took a great new job, my oldest stepdaughter changed dance programs while the youngest made plans to add some new activities, and my son has been preparing to change schools and athletic teams this fall. These things are a big deal to kids, and helping them grow through some of the discomforts of change has been a priority for us.

I don't claim to have the playbook on adapting to change, but we've been intentional about supporting our kids in a few specific ways.

1. We've allowed them to grieve the change. Even though all the changes they've experienced or will experience are positive, there is still a sense of loss, and that's okay. As their mom and stepmom, I want them to focus on how exciting and happy these changes are, but I've also learned it's as important to give them the space to be disappointed and express worries or concerns.

2. Visualize and test out what the change will be like. When I was changing jobs, I had several weeks of interviews that allowed me to get a feel for the organization and begin to see myself there. Kids need this processing time, too. For my son, we've taken steps like touring his new school and playing at the playground so he can start to visualize what his new experience might be.

3. Be a part of the decision-making process. This isn't possible with all change, but for the planned changes we've made, it's been important to us that the kids have buy-in while also understanding that the decision will ultimately be made by the parents. By giving them a space to express their concerns, ideas and choices, the change feels as something that they're a part of, rather than something that's happening to them.

4. Talk through what will not change. For kids and adults alike, change feels huge and all-consuming. With these changes in our family, we've spent intentional time with each kid individually and as a unit talking about what will stay the same so they have a grounding to hold on to while they move through some of the discomforts of change.

5. Get excited. We're fortunate that the new experiences are all positive, and giving space to happy, enthusiastic excitement has been a great part of this process.

While I think we've navigated these new changes well, I'm mindful that it will be important for us to reinforce the consistency we do have, and take an active role in helping our kids continue to adapt and experience how change can be good.

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