Why it's OK to admit you're not ok right now

Friends, it's OK to not be totally OK right now.

Between the fourth wave of COVID-19, hurricanes, tornadoes, fires and the situation in Afghanistan (just to name a few things), and the more personal "garden-variety" challenges of navigating back-to-school and work amidst a global pandemic, I've been in a bit of a slump.

As I write this, I have spoken to three other parents today who are home with sick kids. They're trying to do their best with remote work while snuggling kids ranging in age from toddlers to teenagers.

I usually try to approach most of life with a realistic but optimistic perspective. If someone asks how I'm doing, I'm usually quick to respond with "great," "doing really well" or "we're just so grateful." Sometimes I add in the latest cute story just for emphasis that we're all doing just fine.

But lately I haven't been feeling it.

In a recent conversation with a co-worker, she asked how I was and I just didn't have the energy to give the "sunny side" answer. Instead I said, "You know, I feel like I've been in a slump lately. Don't get me wrong, we're really fortunate, but some days are just hard right now."

The response I received was something of a sigh of relief. She shared that she'd been feeling the same way. By answering honestly, we were able to engage in a quick but powerful conversation where we shared what was bothering us, and offered emotional support. It was a moment of camaraderie and vulnerability that was needed and appreciated.

Truthfully, we're not great at hiding this. The people around us, including our kids, know when we're not feeling our best or something is wrong. Over the years, instead of hiding how I'm feeling and stuffing down my emotions, I've tried to be more honest about what's bothering me and giving our kids age-appropriate honest answers for how I'm feeling about my emotions. It's been an important lesson in modeling how to express and feel emotions around people we trust.

It's OK to not be OK. These are strange and stressful times. And while there are many blessings and privileges to be grateful for, the challenges are also in abundance.

It's as if we signed up for a sprint, only to realize within the first 100 yards that we're actually in a marathon. Our endurance is depleted, and it's okay to be honest about that. But we're not running the race alone.

If you're feeling a little off, in a slump or not OK — you're not alone. Now is the time to lean into your support systems, call a trusted friend, make a counseling appointment and honestly express how you're doing.

Together, we will continue to persevere.

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